The Bat Story

First of all, I'm going to post teasers more often, I'm loving the buzz that this has created!

Okay, a couple weeks ago I kept my neice, she, Eliya and Bean were pretending to be bats (read past posts to see the focus we've had on bats lately) They were holding onto theit blankets and "flying" around and catching mosquitos. They made me say "Cock-a-doodle-doo" so they could go to sleep and howl like a wolf to wake them up...ahhh, my brilliant homeschooled kids...

I was sick of constantly fixing their blanket/wings so I did what any supermom would do and made them bat wings.

Here's my super-brain babies hanging upside down to sleep...okay so they're not sleeping and Abby looks like sh'es being choked (she's not) but you get the idea!!

So they're being bats all day, they're flying, colecting mosquitos I called Wes and Cindy and said "I have bats in my house!" They are conserned and I tell them I have 3 huge bats...they catch on, we all laugh...good times.

That afternoon, the kids and I went over to Cindy's and were hanging out. Cindy went down stairs to put a load of laundry in adn came back up and wispered "I think there's a bat in my washing machine." She wanted me to go check it out. I went down and due to my recient bat research I know that this could be a rabid bat, after all, how normal is it for a bat to be in a washing machine? I also know that a bat can bite you without you knowing it b/c it's fangs are so small and fine. I also know that there have been two rabid bats found nearby in the past month or so...I knew too much...I mustered up all the courage I had, found a blanket to protect my arms and hands in case this little creature decided to fly at me like in a movie (unlikely but not worth the even miniscule chance) adn opened the lid. Sure enough there was a bat in the washing machine. I slamed the lid down and ran upstairs...aparently my courage had run out.

I called Wes and told him ther was a bat in his mom's house and he didn't believe me...maybe that's why James said let your yes be yes and your no be no...Anyway, I convinced him and he told us to call the health department and he'd be there in about an hour. Cindy called teh health dept. and they said we havent been "exposed" and really this wasn't unusual and we just need to catch it and release it. Cindy called some exterminators and the only one who would even do it cost $260!! I told her Wes would do it for half. (We're still waiting on that check. BTW)

Wes came and I made him take pics. Here's the bat in the washer.

So Wes caught the poor thing with a pool net and a broom stick. I told him to bring over his leather work gloves so he could just pick it up and set it free, but he brought over these felt gloves that the bat could have bitten through. So the bat is in the net, looking angry and injured and my mother-in-law thought the kids would like to see it.

Nice, huh? So the bat is angry and scared, probably hurt and screeching at us. Eliya thought is was interesting for about a second and went back inside. Bean and Abby on the other hand were completely interested in this creepy flying rodant and watched it like a train wreck. Wes and his sister took the net out to the back of the yard to set it free.

It didn't (or couldn't) fly so Wes tried to fling it into the air with the broom stick where it looked like your classic bat for about 1.63 seconds. It went straight up into the air and spread it's wings to look like an out of place halloween decoration against the blue sky...then it fell...into the pool...

At that point Abby and Bean learned that bats can swim. My mother-in-law was freeking out and Wes tried to retrieve the little guy before he drowned (not to be nice, he just didn't want to have to pull a dead bat out of the filter.) It followed the current around to the skimmer and clung for dear life.

Wes, or his sister, things are a little blurry during this part, took the pool net and got the bat back out to the yard. The kids are trying to run out, I'm trying to keep then calm, Wes is yelling at everyone to go inside b/c he was sick of all of us women giving him 3 different orders at the same time. I'm yelling don't hurt him, Cindy's yelling get rid of him and Christy's snapping these pictures.

I was keeping the kids back by the house to try and keep them safe. Then all of a sudden in this enviroment of pure chaos, Wes started beating the life out of the bat with the broom stick. Everyone starts screeming, Abby jumps into my arms, I grab Bean, yell at Wes and drag the kids inside. Once we were in, I tryed to explain to Abby that Uncle Wes had not turned into a broomstick weilding psychopath, that some times when animals are hurt, the best thing we can do is kill them. Isaiah is running arround saying "Daddy smash bat!! Daddy Smash bat!!"

The kids haven't put their bat wings on since that day and cower away when Wes is sweeping...no, that last part isn't true. So here's one last pic of the kids' first and last time wearing their bat wings.

I'm such a nerd

So I like to go back and read my own blog. I laugh at my jokes and think I'm quite clever. Somebody hurry up and give me a book. I realized not too long ago that I don't remember the last book I actually read...for me. That's terrable. I read all the time, sometimes for hours a day. I read forums, emails, articles, recipes, research, some magazines and news pages, it's mostly all online. I read childrens books all the live ling day, thank goodness Eliya's old enough for chapter books and I can share classics with her. I'm thinking about getting chidren's poetry books, at least that would be for me as well. Do you think that's bad? Do you think I'm not getting a well ballanced intelectual diet? Don't base your answer on my spelling-this is a blog, mot a term paper. Please comment and let me know how much pleasure reading (even if it's topical or non-fiction, if you are reading it b/c you want to, not for a class for someone else it counts as pleasure reading.)

Back to my usual kid talk. Wait here's another tangent. Do you remember "CoffeeTtalk With Linda Richmond."? It was SNL with Mike Meyers. Classic stuff right there, Wes and I still use "verclempt" all the time (Talk amungst yourselves, I'll give you a topic, the Lima Bean is neither a Lima nor a Bean...discuss.) Well the first one, Mike Meyers was a man names Paul something-it was basiclly the same character and the show's sub title was something about "Where we talk about coffee, daughters and......something. Maybe I should re-name my blog to something like that. Kid talk, or Baby Babble, Mandylocks and the Three Kids....no that one was lame....I digress

Okay so today NiNi told Bean that his name was Trouble...now if you ask him his name he says "Trouble Robber-man" (Wait for it... you 'll get it in a minute) He's just hilarious. Eliya is my girl. At bed time she was getting her baby doll ready for bed and changed it's diaper. I made fun of her for using disposable diapers and said, "Well, I hope you at least breast feed him!" and she lifted up her shirt held him tummy to tummy and gentally bounced him to sleep...I love those moment when you feel like you're doing a good job!!

Here's Baby. the other day I didn't hear him and was afraid he'd crawled to the bathroom, shut the door (he likes to have privacy) and drowned in the Toilet. I was right about the first half.

OMG!! I forgot ai have a huge story to tell you about bats!!! I've got to get to bed, I'll do it tomarrow. Hopefully it's not lame now htat I've said that!!

I kept my neice Abby today. She's so funny. Today at lunch, Eliya wanted to pray when she was done (It's always something like "thank you for this food and help us have a wonderful day, Amen") Abby wanted to pray Here's how it went: "I hope God gives me a sheep, Dear Jeses please give me a sheep and bless our food we are about to eat. Amen." Eliya didn't miss a beat and asked "Why do you want a sheep, do you want to make lots of sweaters?" Those silly girls. They are more like sisters then cousins most of the time. They were fighting and Abby told Eliya she wasn't going to be her cousin any more. I told her God already decided they were cousins and there was nothing she could do to change that...that worked for today anyway...

I left for a little while tonight and Wes got the kids ready for bed. Bean wanted to wear his Spiderman Jammies so he cuold fly. He then began jumping from the coffee table to the couch. Eliya wanted to challenge her brother so she moved the table back---way back, Wes said it was like 5 feet from the chouch. Bean still tried to jump. If you've seen Big Mama's House 2 he apparently looked just like that lillte boy who jumped off all the furnature. Wes told me this while I was driving home-I laughed so hard I cried and couln't see...another reason to not Talk and Drive...yeah, like that could ever happen.

Here's a pic of Bean before his first birthday when he got his Spiderman Jammies. The have wings. They were too big till this year so he thinks they are new. There are pants to them but I think he crawled out of tehm before this pic was taken.

So this mornig I thought Isaiah was going to be blind (no, not that yet) He somehow spilled about 1/4 bottle of bubbles on his face and eyes. I feel aweful for not knowing how it happened I was pushing Eliya and Silas on the swings-I was being a good mother to two thirds of my kids...

Anyway he started screaming and rubbing the bubbles into his eyes, I snached the baby out of his swing and ran the boys into the house. Poor Bean was begging me to carry him, but what could I do? I put Baby down and scooped up Isaiah as soon as the back door closed and put him on the counter. Using a wash cloth I started pouring water over his face and wiping the bulk of it away. Then I realized he had pooped. I ran him to his room layed him on the changing table and handed him blanky blue. Boy had he pooped...I got him cleaned up and in the tub (seems backwards doesn't it?) and proceeded to spray his face with the shower hose thing. So now the poor guy is thinking I'm tourturing him-I felt like I was. He'd cry and turn around and beg me to not spray his eyes and I'd chase him around the tub, or worse, I'd wait till he opened his eyes again and then go in for another rinse.

I got out the best kid towel we have, a huge cozy tiger towel with a hood, wrapped him up and just hugged him. I took him to my room where I held him and kissed him and made sure he was okay. I put a diaper on him and promised my baby a sucker (suckers make all kinds of things better.) I got him on the couch, turned on Seseme Street and made sure blanky blue was ready for snuggles. I breathed for probably the first time in 10 minutes and went to the bathroom to avoid all the mess for just a moment. As I looked in the mirror I noticed there is a big smear of poop from my right sholder to my left side. It was like a Miss America sash. I had a sash of poop. I decided to ignore the fact taht Bean could have poop on him, surely it only got on the big tiger towel that was now safely in the hamper. I couldn't bear to put him through a bath at that point anyway.

Bean seems fine now. except he wanted to sleep in his shoes. I don't think that's a side effect of bubble solution exposure...