Death

Why is it no one wants to talk about death? It's like Loreta Lynn said, "Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die." I do think about death, rather often. Sometimes in a suicidal way, though not so much anymore. Most of the time in a matter-of-fact-planning-for-the-future sort of way. I have decided that I wuold like to know about my inpendong doom-my family and I would benefit from the closure we'd be able to get. If I do have to die suddenly, I'd prefer spontainious combustion...it would be a funny way to die...just be minding my own business and going about my day then BOOM-done. Everything's worth doing if you get a good story out of it, I wouldn't be able to tell the story but it would be a good story none the less.

I also plan my funeral. I have instructed Wes to pay Mrs. Robinson, Mandy and Spirit in the Sky. I would like a slide show but it would be all self taken pictures, being the one who always takes the pictures in the family means you are rarely the photo's subject so the slide show will be a bit boring.

I think about Wes and any combination of the kids dying. Not as deeply though, it's too hard. I think about it more when Wes goes out of town. I always expect him to die in a car accident, then I start tinking about all the legal/money stuff I'd have to do...I can't think about actual life after he dies (even hypothetically) just the management of that life.

Ironically I do not have a will or a plan for the kids in case Wes and I both die, I don't' even have adequate life insurance...you would think that I would put action to these very important plans. Oh well, I guess I'll get around to it eventua